If you want to value people, you must give them your gaze. It is the most valuable currency you have.

By Suzanne Tonks

We are all operating within the same 24-hour constraint, yet the most successful leaders I’ve worked with, from global firms to local SME's, don't just manage their time. They curate their presence.

Bringing the lens informed by my Psychology PhD research on identity, I see a recurring "poverty" among the C-suite. Time Poverty. But the solution isn't another productivity hack or an AI tool to "get more done." The solution lies in understanding the psychology of Technoference and the necessity of Flow.

The Cost of the "Gaze"

My research into technoference in parenting a couple of years ago revealed a sobering truth. When we look down at our phones, we are effectively telling those in front of us, be it our children or our executive teams, that they are secondary to the digital noise. In leadership, this creates a perception of detachment. If you want to value people, you must give them your gaze. It is the most valuable currency you have.

Stacking for Survival, Flowing for Success

To get through tasks, I find myself living life through a model of Stack and Flow.

Let's look at The Stack. These are the days of high-density tasks, the "Eat the Frog" moments, and the heavy lifting. We use AI here to automate the mundane and collapse the time required for technical output.

Now for The Flow. These are the non-negotiable periods of deep immersion. Whether it’s learning French like my former colleague or diving into identity theory, "Flow" is what prevents executive burnout. It is the work that feeds you.

The Intention-Behavior Gap

Most leaders are excellent planners. We can time-block a year in advance with surgical precision. But why do we "fall off" our plans? It's because we over-stack and under-flow. We prioritise the "necessary" at the expense of the "rich."

True leadership maturity is reached when you stop "going with the flow" and start commanding it. It’s about setting "Rich Goals", which are those that align with your core identity, rather than just functional milestones.

If you’re a leader who feels like you’re constantly looking down, it’s time to look up and hold gaze. Your children see it, your board sees it, and eventually, your own sense of self will feel the gap.